Mexican Culture – Dating a Mexican (Pros and Cons)
Did you know Mexicans are …pssst!… charming, easy-going, conservative and a bit jealous? Would you consider these pros or cons? Well, when it comes to cultural differences in dating, we have learnt one thing: the cons for somebody are actually pros for somebody else! So let’s talk about dating a Mexican pros and cons …whichever side you are on!
What do you need to know before dating in Mexico?
1. Be ready for a party!
Rodrigo H. emphasises the cheerful nature of Mexican culture:
“We love to Love. Our culture revolves around it, our families push it and even our music reinforces it.
If you date one of us, be prepared to be treated like a lady….and be taken out dancing because Mexicans are always ready for a party!“
2. Respect is important
Geco G. draws distinctions between an Australian and Mexican mentality:
“I’m Australian and lived in Mexico for a couple of years. Australians and Mexicanos are both quite hard and stoic people. But, when it comes to emotions and romance we’re polar opposites.
Personally, I like American men, because unlike Australian men, they have more than one emotion per week or month, but unlike Mexicanos, they’re not having an emotion every hour.
The biggest difference I noticed between our two cultures was “hierarchy”, Mexican culture is a very, very hierarchical society, whereas in Australia, we’re not allowed to admit out loud that there may be a social status difference between a professor and an electrician, let alone behave like there’s a difference. I’m sure I offended many, many Mexicans with my lack of appropriate respect in one direction and perhaps seemed mocking by my undue respect in the other direction.”
To learn more about Australian dating culture read our post: Dating an Australian
3. Value committment and family
Allison A. describes Mexican men:
“…We can generalize and say that Mexican guys are passionate and romantic partners who often put their loved ones first.
They typically take a traditional approach to relationships, valuing commitment and family above all else.
If you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship with a Mexican guy, you can expect lots of love, support, and laughter.“
Oscar T. warns that jealousy is quite common:
“Generalizing, yes, we tend to be more jealous than “anglos”. Expect some conservativeness, especially when the family is around and Mexicans in general also tend to be more attached to home than Americans.“
Who Initiates? Gender Roles.
Many countries are focused on equality. Not Mexico, though. Gender roles are strongly present, just like in Korean dating culture or when in dating in Japanese culture, but in Mexican culture, it is expressed in a different way:
Oscar T.:
“We like to have attention with women in general, like open the car’s door, paying the bill in a restaurant or -this one is not very common but happens- while walking on the sidewalk, you’re always on the side near the street (don’t know why, but I can’t walk with any girl on the other side).“
Machismo Culture
Machismo culture is associated with toxic behaviour that puts a strong emphasis on masculinity and dominance over a woman. It is still very common in Latin America, even though is widely condemned. It has a strong impact on Mexican dating culture as well.
Paulisima who is a Spanish teacher explains the macho-caballero paradox:
She describes that a modern Mexican woman is usually looking for a modest and calm guy who is not fixated on gender stereotypes. At the same time displays of gallantry and even mad deeds that express passion and affection are also highly appreciated.
It seems that an ideal man for a Mexican woman is a home-centred soft man spiced up with slight machismo features. Quite hard to balance between these two opposites!
Lena P. shares her experience of seeing Mexican macho men:
“I saw a meme that describes the situation perfectly ‘when on a first date ask: is there someone who thinks you’re in a relationship with them?’ Nearly every Mexican man I’ve gone out with was already in relationship (very common here) and I recently found out that my ex (after a year of dating him) had 3 other long-term girlfriends. Soooo I think that’s definitely an element of machismo culture to be aware of (especially as a foreigner who may not realize how common it is).”
Public Displays of Affection
Dating Goals in Mexican Culture
Emilu G. thinks that relationships are developing faster compared to the USA:
“Dating one person at a time is definitely the dating rule for Mexicans in my experience. The competitive attitude is real and moving fast compared to American dating norms. It’s not just Mexican women but guys too. I should know, I married one.“
Dating a Mexican: Pros and Cons
- Follow some traditional patterns like picking up a girl at her home, bringing flowers, etc. Also, it’s expected that a man will be generous in compliments (in Mexico it’s called “pirpos” – which means flirtatious comments).
Miguel L. gives the first date advice:
“Generally, in the states, after getting a girl to like you, you have to get her friends to like you. In Mexico, you have to get her family to like you. So on the first few dates, pick her up, be very courteous, say ‘hi’ to her mom, and don’t overstay your welcome.”
- Appearance is important.
It’s true for both girls and guys. Thus, it’s not ok to show up for the first date in jeans and a T-shirt. Most likely, a Mexican woman will choose high heels and a dress. A man is expected to look classy as well.
- Punctuality
Being late in Mexico is a norm. So, don’t be offended if your partner is not on time: Mexicans are more relaxed and don’t like strict planning.
- Who pays the bill?
Most of our male contributors emphasised that they would have felt very rude not to pay on a date. On other hand, girls revealed that “women have to make a man believe he’s taking the lead.” So, it’s like a game when a man is taking an initiative, and a woman lets him do so.
Paulisima with self-irony tells how deeply it’s rooted even in modern society:
“Every smart, independent, self-reliant, feminist Mexican woman melts down every time her partner picks up the check in the restaurant”
- Don’t expect a physical intimacy after the first date
Donald A. compares the American dating scene with the Mexican:
“The dates did feel a bit more proper. In the states, it was getting to the point that you’d meet at a cafe, do something outdoors, then go back to one of your places and that was that. In Mexico, I actually went to dinner and had a conversation and then went home alone usually so it felt a little more conservative and like it was when I was younger.“
Romantic Relationship
Donald A. admits that emotional intimacy is more important in Mexican dating culture:
“Relationships seem more impactful here. People who meet me, … care about having met me, they are interested in me. They talk to me, even with some language barrier. In the US it seemed like they’d already met a bunch of boyfriends so who cares? That’s how I explained it to a friend: in Mexico I’m a man, in America I’m a boyfriend.”
Carlos S. finds dating a Mexican similar to dating an Italian:
“This reminds me of Italy where dating is not a casual affair but about your destiny, your future. It’s the first step in a commitment that inevitably leads to marriage and children. This is why the girls seem competitive. They’re vying for that empty spot by your side for life. It’s a bit awkward culturally to say you’re dating multiple people when they are seeing it as a unique experience and possibly the beginning of something greater.”
The Family Role in Mexican Dating Culture
We can’t be talking about dating a Mexican pros and cons, without mentioning their strong connection to family. Mexicans are very loyal to their relatives, and consequently, they usually seek approval from their parents.
In rural areas outside of big cities, a girl’s father may even determine whether his daughter can date a particular man or not!
George V.
“In Mexico, you would need the approval of both the mother and the father to marry a girl. Also, keep in mind that sometimes the first dates involve having dinner with her parents to show that you’re an honorable person. And don’t forget to compliment her mother’s cooking!“
In megapolises, people are less traditional and make important decisions independently. However, the family’s opinion is still essential and has its impact.
We hope you found all your answers in our article about Mexican Culture – Dating a Mexican pros and cons. If not, or if you want to share your experience, let us know in the comments below. We would love to read it!
What an interesting 6 years that must have been while traveling. Always good to know the norms around dating.
Haha, some of this had me cracking up! It is so interesting how different relationships are in different cultures