Dating a British: Local’s Guide for Solo Travellers
Integrating into British society is often challenging for foreigners. Even small cultural differences can be difficult, especially when it comes to romantic relationships of dating a British. We collected the ins and outs of the British dating culture to help you overcome the potential difficulties.
What do you need to know before dating a British?
British dating culture is very similar to other Anglo-Saxon countries’ (such as the American dating scene in the USA, Australia) as well as to dating in Germany or dating a Swedish person.
Lyssa C. says:
“I have dated a lot of Europeans. My husband is British & I’m American. I feel British guys are more sensitive than American guys are, but other than that I feel it’s the same dating-wise.”
Brits are always polite and friendly, so don’t expect that they will directly tell you what they think or feel. Unlike in some other countries (eg. Eastern Europe), where it could be seen as insincere and even be an obstacle in relationships.
Sarah R. explains:
Alexandra S.:
“Lots of our contributors emphasize that Britts have an incredible sense of humor. However, sometimes it is confusing for foreigners – who are not used to reading between the lines – especially when it comes to sarcasm.
Irony, sarcasm and witty remarks are often used to express sympathy or even interest. However, to other cultures, might take it as “not honest”.
Luise L. feels:
“…the best way to get to know someone is through their sense of humor and the Brits have a reputation to laugh at themselves, they are chill so don’t worry too much before a date.”
Who Initiates?
Brits are shy and polite. They are reluctant to show their feelings and are afraid of being rejected. Perhaps that is why foreigners have many chances to impress a British girl or guy and build a long-term relationship.
Jessica S.:
“The men over here are hopeless at making the first move.”
Alia A. compares her experience of dating a British man with dating an Australian man:
“I’m Aussie. I’m now engaged to an English man. I found it very difficult in the beginning due to cultural differences… I find that they’re a bit more polite and shy. On our first date my fiancé asked: ‘hypothetically, if I asked you on a second date would you say yes?’ I was like are you asking or not? 
I think the easiest way is on the first few dates to say exactly what you expect (something serious or casual etc).”
If you are single, it’s absolutely ok to ask a British man to go out, but women making the first move is still not the norm.
Cloe C.:
“We’re not a very traditional society so women can absolutely make the first move, but not all men are used to that. In my experience, British men tend to offer to buy at least one of the drinks but don’t expect that every time. I never go out for dinner on the first date so I can only talk about drinks.”
First date: do’s and don’ts
- Avoid inappropriate topics like talking about ex-partners, bragging about yourself or asking personal questions.
John D.:
“Don’t treat the date as an interview, but rather as a conversation with mutual disclosure. Don’t exploit someone you are on a date with for their experience or skills.“
- Don’t suggest meeting for the first time at a fancy restaurant. It should be a casual event. The first date is not a big deal in the UK, so don’t put too much pressure on your partner with overrated expectations.
- Don’t worry too much about what to wear. High heels or suits are not common for the first date in the UK. So, don’t overdress.
Chloe C.:
“…it depends on the person but it can be pretty casual. One Mancunian date of mine turned up in shorts and a t-shirt.“
- Usually, the one who initiates the date suggests paying the bill. However, if your date insists on splitting the bill, accept it. There are no strict rules on who pays.
First date ideas in UK /Romantic Getaways
There are no specific places for first dates in the UK. The options are endless: bars, pubs, restaurants, picnics, and other outdoor activities. Let’s look at what our contributors suggest.
Cristina from My Little World of Travelling:
“York is one of the most romantic destinations in the United Kingdom. This charming city in Yorkshire has many activities to do with a loved one.
Start by visiting York Minster, a 7th-century gothic cathedral that has beautiful architecture and impressive stained glass windows. Not only will you learn about its history but you will be amazed by this historic building.
Then walk on York City Walls to enjoy different views of the city and have a picnic at York Museum Gardens or have an afternoon tea at Betty’s, considered one of the best afternoon tea places in Northern England.
Other great activities to do in York for couples include visiting the York Chocolate Museum and going on a sunset river cruise in which you can enjoy dinner too.
For a unique stay, treat your partner by staying at Principal York. This beautiful hotel offers spacious and elegant rooms perfect for a romantic getaway, and they also have an onsite restaurant that serves delicious dishes.”
Romantic Relationships
Unlike the American dating scene, in Britain, you go on dates with one person until it’s clear if the relationship will go any further.
While dating a British person, keep in mind that even though marriage is still important, it usually happens after years of seeing each other. Brits value love for one another, rather than getting married for social expectations.
Claudia F.:
Dating Apps popular in the UK
Eharmony – is for singles looking for serious relationships and deep commitments. The majority of the members are aged 25–34 years old. Most users are educated and have quite a stable lifestyle.
You can try (or use) the service for free, but only the limited version without the ability to send messages.
Elite Singles – oriented toward young professionals. Famous for its sophisticated filters, and detailed personality tests that ensure an excellent user experience.
Match.com – is perfect for those who are looking for something between casual dating and a serious relationship. It doesn’t overcomplicate the dating process. To sign-up takes less than 5 mins. Match is a hybrid dating site that offers both swipe-style dating (mutual matches) and traditional catalog/profile style dating.
Hope you enjoyed our article on dating a British. We would love to see your thoughts in the comments below.
Very interesting. I am British, older (early ’50s) & recently started dating again. It is always fascinating to read how other people view our culture & I have to say this reads spot on for me. Thanks for sharing!
It is very interesting to read about the idiosyncracies of different cultures, especially the things related to love and relationships. And kudos for the very unique topic of your blog!
Interesting read and I agree with a lot, but the sentence ” unlike the American dating scene, In Britain you go one dates with one person” caught my attention. Do American people date several people at once at the beginning?