Dating in Australian Culture … “Disinterested when they aren’t”
Australia is a nation of immigrants, so you would think it should be easy for travelers to integrate into the culture. We talked with many locals and international students living Down Under, to hear their thoughts on the Australian dating culture. Let’s jump right in!
What do you need to know before dating an Australian?
Australia is so multicultural, it is hard to find a “typical Aussie”. However, what they all seem to have in common is a “love for chat” and a “great sense of humor.”
Karen M. tells us:
“Aussies are tuned for a frontier lifestyle. Outgoing, independent, casual, brave and witty. The frontiersman attitude is strong in them. That’s what makes them unique and lovable.”
… but how about dating in Australian culture?
Floyd S. shares his thoughts on dating an Australian man:
“Australian men don’t talk about their feelings, but on other subjects tend to be open and honest. Never ask for an opinion, unless you want brutal honesty… The language is colourful, swearing is part of the vocabulary, and what sounds like insults are commonly used in jest or in friendship.”
Steve F. finds Aussie women very self-confident:
“Australian women are highly independent, generally know what they want out of life, and are unlikely to suffer fools or control freaks.“
Who initiates when dating in Australian culture?
Just like in many other Western countries there are no strict rules when it comes to initiating a relationship.
Geoffrey D. explains:
“Guy asking girls, girl asking guys- happens both ways. Aussies are pretty open, and no gender-specific things there.”
Mia S.’s experience on the other hand, feels a lot more like dating in Germany for us:
“…the typical Aussie man does not approach women AT ALL. They would just smile, throw quick stares and wait for the women to approach them.”
First date Do’s and Don’ts
Jenniffer S. hints to book in advance:
“I find it sexy when a man is planning ahead the date! “
We agree, improvisation does not always work well. Especially, if you are dating a Japanese. They will really not appreciate it!
Ben C. tells us to be ready to split the bill (very similar to the American dating scene):
“I would add that splitting the bill on dates is not uncommon or frowned upon. The only time that people are expected to pay for the other person is if they have organised something in advance and asked the other person to come, rather than on a mutual ‘date’.“
Janelle D. advises to put some effort into your appearance – even though dressing up is not common:
“You will find many Australian men now know how to match their clothes and dress up for special occasions. Shorts and flip-flops are no longer the standard wardrobes of the average Aussie male. I’m actually quite impressed with their fashion savvy but causal style.”
And finally a rather common rule of thumb: don’t talk about religion, politics or any other controversial topic unless you are sure your date enjoys these topics.
Romantic Getaway:
Doing something fun and out of your comfort zone is often appreciated when dating in Australian culture: axe throwing, hiking or even dance classes.
Furthermore, Australia is also rich in extraordinary nature which couldn’t be ignored by couples who love travelling.
Shannon van de Laar from Happy Life Safari recommends:
“If you are looking for the perfect place for a romantic weekend away in South Australia, then look no further than the Clare Valley. Just under a 2-hour drive from the heart of Adelaide, South Australia, this stunning wine region is full of elegant cuisine and surrounded by peaceful nature. And of course, there is the wine. You will no doubt find the perfect drop to accompany your romantic weekend away.
Visitors will be spoilt for choice when it comes to the accommodation choices within the region. Choose from the popular Clare Country Club or cosy up in the privacy of one of the many bed & breakfasts available.
Whether you are enjoying the Clare Valley for a first date or an anniversary, make sure you check out the highlight of the region, The Riesling Trail. Named after the white wine varietal that the area is famous for, this 33-kilometre bike trail takes you past some well-known and boutique wineries, as well as some of the best award-winning restaurants in South Australia. If you do not have your own bike with you, there are several hire places located at the start and end of the trail, in Auburn and the main town of Clare.
The Clare Valley Wine, Food and Tourism Centre is a great place to start your visit. Here you will find maps of beautiful walking trails, as well as being able to purchase local produce and wine to make the perfect picnic. If your idea of romance is fancier, check out a wine tasting and exquisite meal at Skillagalee, or the Watervale Hotel.
In my opinion, one weekend in the Clare Valley is not enough so if you have the time for a long weekend, I highly recommend 3-4 nights in the area. And make sure you leave room in your luggage for the amazing wines you will find.“
Romantic Relationship with an Aussie
More likely an Aussie man will not shower you with gifts, flowers and other romantic gestures but rather focus on being a reliable life partner. If you are used to chivalry and lots of attention (like dating a Mexican kind of lots) that might be missing it. So, keep that in mind and don’t take it personal.
Donald R.
“Romance is not my strong suit. I’m likely to ask what she wants for important events than embarrass myself trying to do anything else. I show my affection by working like a dog to put a roof over our heads and food on the table.”
Jayne
“Many would get their girlfriend an anniversary present that wasn’t from the supermarket. That being said we don’t buy gifts unless it’s a special occasion like a birthday or anniversary”
Also, Australians value their friends’ circle.
Dasia N.
“They’re as good and reliable as friends/mates but the boyish charms can be such a turn-off. Genuineness is a huge plus though! I do like how Aussie men are independent and value their friends – this can be a turn-off for women who prefer to be catered to all the time…” (like for those who are used to Korean dating culture)
When it comes to marriage, Australians have a similar approach to it than people dating in Swedish culture. There has been a fundamental shift in social perspectives toward marriage. Nowadays, couples often live together and raise children outside marriage.
Furthermore, couples are cohabitating for a longer period prior to marrying. Many see this simply as a pragmatic test of compatibility. In 1976 only 16% of couples lived together prior to marriage while in 2016, this number dramatically increased to 80.8%. (for more marriage statistics in Australia go here).
Dating Sites in Australia
Top 3 dating sites that are popular in Australia – thanks to our contributors for their input!
Eharmony – targets educated professionals who are interested in serious relationships, as opposed to casual dating. To get the most advantage of it you need to pay for subcription.
Bumble – is a free dating app with a format similar to Tinder. The most significant difference is that only women can send the very first message, therefore sometimes it is referred to as a feminist app. More oriented on a serious relationships rather than casual dating.
Planty of Fish – was created for those who are looking for serious long-term relationships. As a result, the average age of members is slightly higher that that off Tinder of Bumble.
Thank you for reading the post on dating in Australian culture. If you have any stories to share with us please comment below. We would love to hear your thoughts!
Wow! I must say that it is quite an insightful post.
Very interesting insights and tips shared!
A great post and as an Australian, found it interesting…but in many cases accurate ha ha I am an older Australian, ‘the men don’t share feelings’ and it’s never been my experience to ‘pay’ on a date unless I didn’t think it a date….
awesome, post! this was a fun read!
Fun read – dated an Australian some time ago and it all clicks now reading this post 🙂
That’s a very fun read, it’s always nice to see how is the dating scene abroad!