When it comes to interracial dating, one of the abbreviations you will come across is WMAF. If you don’t already know the expression, don’t worry. At How to Date a Foreigner we will explain both the meaning of WMAF as well as look at why it is one of the most common interracial pairing. A lot more common than its AMWF counterpart. Lastly, we will look at its challenges as there are just as plenty.
WMAF Meaning
To be able to differentiate among different ethnic groups dating each other, often a four letter abbreviation is used (eg. WMAF).
- WMAF Meaning
White Male – Asian Female (or Western Male – Asian Female) is one of the most common paring among interracial couples.
For more definitions, refer to our interracial dating glossary.
According to Pew Research, 1 out of 10 intermarried couples are WMAF. A lot more common than its counterpart: AMWF (Asian Male – White Female).
Why is it so common?
There are several reasons why this pairing is so common, even though most people are only aware of the first or the second. As you will see, pretty much everything rules in their favour.
1. History
You might ask how on earth could history influence who you date? Well, it can!
The first major wave of Asian immigration to the US occurred in the late 19th century, primarily in Hawaii and the West Coast. Asian Americans experienced exclusion, and limitations to immigration, by the United States law between 1875 and 1965, and were largely prohibited from naturalization until the 1940s. (Wikipedia)
During this flood of cheap Asian workforce, many Americans were worried that they will lose their jobs. The media started portraying both Asian men and Asian women in a rather bad light. Asian men were portrayed as effeminate, often doing kitchen jobs, and Asian women as prostitutes. These labels still have their effect today. They became a long term disadvantage to Asian men and turned in favor for Asian women who are often considered submissive.
Hollywood didn’t help either. There are very few Asian actors in Hollywood movies as (due to history) they are often considered effeminate, but plenty of Asian women.
2. Attraction (Beauty Standards)
The other reason why this interracial couple is so popular is due to our association with beauty.
Slim Women
Women in most cultures are considered prettier if they are slim (which is strongly in favor of Asian women).
Tall Men
Men if they are tall – which is in favor of Western men. Asian people are often lactose intolerant and therefore most Asian cultures eliminated fresh milk from their diet several centuries ago. Whereas most people in Western cultures are not (or just starting to be intolerant now) and therefore Western men get a lot more calcium that contributes to their height.
Skin Tone
People in western cultures like tanned skin and people in Asia prefer white skin (which Western men have).
Also Western men like to feel strong, to protect their women.
Therefore, there are many many areas why this couple is common – even if we just look at the beauty standards.
3. Cultural Differences
Lastly, what most people don’t think of are the cultural and gender role differences.
If the WMAF couple has the same cultural background, obviously this won’t come into play. However, often WMAF couples have a different cultural background – which is also in favor of this couple.
We will cover a few here. Our course, ‘The Secrets of Intercultural Dating‘ goes into a lot more detail – if you are interested in learning about it.
Gender Roles:
The more we go West, the more equal couples become in a relationship and the more the duties are split 50-50. On the contrary, the more we go East, the more traditional relationships become.
Household:
In WMAF relationships, Western men pull a lot more weight in the household than Asian women are typically used to with Asian men. Asian women on the other hand help a lot more in the household than Western men are used to getting from Western Women (where the housework is usually split 50-50).
If this difference wan’t enough, in many traditional Asian countries, women are not only expected to look after their husband but also to move in with the husband’s family and look after his whole family (often 3 generations!). It is a lot of work, that is not expected of them when they date a Western man.
Finances:
In many Asian countries, Asian men are the main breadwinner and they provide to their family. Even though Western men might not be used to this, coming from a developed country, it is often rather easy to them due to the Western income / Asian low cost of living differences.
What are the challenges?
Despite all the things that rule in their favor (as above), WMAF relationships are not free of challenges either. Often their advantages are their biggest challenges. Let’s look at them how and why?
We split it into two parts: if you have the same cultural background or if you are different.
1. Same culture:
If you have the same culture, there is usually just one challenge, but it is often big enough to match the handful that comes for intercultural couples:
Discrimination
This blog post unfortunately wouldn’t be complete without mentioning this.
If you are an interracial couple, living in a Western country, you will likely come across discrimination at least once during your relationship. If you live in Asia, this is a lot less likely.
Here comes the surprising part you need to be ready for as a WMAF couple.
Sadly, WMAF couples not only face discrimination from other ethnic groups, but many times from their own too.
Asian women receive quite a bit of negativity for dating outside of their race and as it is getting more and more common, Western men do too.
On the contrary, this doesn’t seem to be the case with AMWF couples.
2. Different cultures:
All the ‘benefits’ mentioned above could easily become the challenges in this relationship.
Household:
Unless the couple is not financially stable (or trying to save for a house) they will almost always live on their own.
By being in a WMAF relationship, the Asian woman doesn’t have to move in with her husband’s family (like in many traditional Asian countries) and care for his whole family.
For this reason, in a WMAF relationship, household issues are less prevalent than in AMWF relationships.
However, for someone who is used to having a big family and always have many people around, this ‘reduced’ smaller family with even less time spent together could be strange in the beginning and maybe even lead to feeling lonely.
If your Asian partner is used to having a big family around, try to make up for it by often having friends around. Especially in the beginning while she gets used to the new environment.
In Western countries, usually your partner becomes the most important person in your life – especially after marriage. Therefore, for Western men, it will be their Asian wife. Even in the most traditional Asian countries, for Asian women, the most important person will be her husband.
So despite the cultural differences, this works perfectly in this relationship.
Finances:
This is where it becomes even more challenging.
The more individualistic a Western culture is (eg. US), the more people look after themselves financially.
When someone is not used to a traditional relationship, where they support their partner financially, it can really make them question their partner’s motives.
WMAF potential pitfall:
After reading all of the above, you probably think this relationship is up for a good start – and you are probably right. However, there is one problem that could lead this relationship into a brick wall. This mostly comes from Asian women in Asian countries (or culture).
In developing Asian countries, women are raised to ‘serve’ their man and often considered lower class. Typically these women look for a more equal relationship from their side. However, they often still hope for the man to be the provider and have better financial stability.
The problem comes when Western men date Asian women for their traditional values and for the way they serve their man. (Partially what many Asian women in Asian countries are trying to escape from).
It is far from super common, but when it does happen Asian women feel used and eventually want to end the relationship.
Asian women will give as much as they can to make you happy. However, if you want to have a healthy relationship, make sure not to take advantage of it.
Give back and make them feel like an equal partner. If she cooks for you all the time, treat her from time to time. Spoil her with your cooking skills or take her out to a nice restaurant. They will probably never ask, but will really appreciate you doing it.
WMAF Compared to AMWF
Despite how similar this relationship could be to AMWF dating, the dynamics are very different in many ways. Read our article on AMWF relationships.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Due to history, our perception of beauty and cultural differences, WMAF couples have many things in their favor.
There are many reasons why AMWF relationships are a lot less common. Everything we highlighted in this article in favor of WMAF couples is the reverse for AMWF couples. There are certain culture combinations that are more likely to work when it comes to AMWF couples, but a lot less than for WMAF couples. Hence, it is very unlikely.
Other than all the points mentioned in this article, just like any other interracial and intercultural relationship, it will expand your horizon, experiences and word view. Cultures see the world very differently and it could be very complimentary.
We hope you found this article very insightful. If you have any questions or we forgot to mention something, please let us know in the comments below, so we can include it.
Summary
1.) WMAF Meaning
2.) Why is it so common?
- History
- Attraction
- Cultural differences
3.) What are the challenges?
Next Step:
Read Next: The Best 12 Interracial Dating Tips