How to Date a Foreigner

What is AMWF Relationship Meaning? (+3 Reasons It is So Rare)

The polar opposite of WMAF relationships are the AMWF couples. In this article we will explain the AMWF relationship meaning and look at the key reasons why it is so rare.  At How to Date a Foreigner we will also discuss its potentiall pitfalls and finally compare its dynamics with those of the WMAF interracial relationships.

AMWF Relationship Meaning

In interracial dating to be able to differentiate between the different ethnic groups, a four letter word is used. 

Asian Male – White Female (or Asian Male – Western Female) is one of the rarest couples in interracial relationships.

For more definitions, refer to our interracial dating glossary.

There are plenty of others, just like AMBF (Asian Male – Black Female) or the exact opposite: WMAF (White Male – Asian Female).

According to Pew Research, AMWF couples are 1/3rd of the number of WMAF couples. Which still sounds a lot more than we often see.

Why is it so rare?

AMWF relationships are so rare for the exact same reason why WMAF relationships are so popular. They are the polar opposite of each other.  Let’s look at these reasons one by one.

1. History

You might ask how on earth could history influence who you date? Well, it can!

The first major wave of Asian immigration to the US occurred in the late 19th century, primarily in Hawaii and the West Coast. Asian Americans experienced exclusion, and limitations to immigration, by the United States law between 1875 and 1965, and were largely prohibited from naturalization until the 1940s. (Wikipedia)

Our article about the history of interracial relationships will give you some interesting background also. 

Stereotypes

During this flood of Asian immigrants to the US, Americans became increasingly worried that they will lose their jobs to the cheap Asian workforce. The media started portraying both Asian men and Asian women in a rather bad light. Asian men were portrayed as effeminate, often doing kitchen jobs. These labels still have their effect today. They became a long term disadvantage to Asian men, to the point that they go on TED to talk about it.

Kevin Kreider now creates content to elevate Asian Americans.

The additional disadvantage coming of stereotypes is that it often affects one’s personality and confidence. 

Confidence… that is so highly ranked among Western women as ‘attractive’. 

Hollywood

Hollywood didn’t help either. There are very few Asian actors in Hollywood movies as (due to history) they are often considered effeminate, but plenty of Asian women.

2. Attraction

Generally association with male and female beauty is not in favor of this interracial couple. 

Women

Men often have a preference for slimmer and smaller women around the world. However, Western women tend to have a stronger bone structure and bigger body build than Asian women. Also often tend to be taller than Asian people. 

Men

Western women often look for taller and physically stronger men as Western culture puts so much emphasis on men physically protecting their women. Asian men however, often have a smaller body build (partially due to their lactose intolerance and milk free diet for centuries). 

For the above reasons, physical beauty and attraction is often not in favor of this couple and hence makes this couple a lot less common.

3. Cultural Differences

Despite the external world thinking interracial dating is just skin deep, quite often for the interracial couple, it is just the tip of the iceberg.

There are a lot more involved and one of these is culture. Most of the time, one or even both of the couples are either immigrants themselves or were raised by immigrant parents. Often they were raised in their own country of origin and bring their culture into the relationship – most often unaware of these cultural differences.

These cultural and gender role differences can also often work against the AMWF couple. 

We will cover a few here. Our course, ‘The Secrets of Intercultural Dating‘ goes into a lot more detail – if you are interested in learning about it.

Gender Roles:

The more we go toward the West, the more individualistic and independent people become and distinctive gender roles disappear. Especially in some parts of the US where feminism is very strong.

They move out at a young age rather than living at home until marriage (or often even after). They also become less family oriented and more career focused. 

Housework:

Due to the cultural differences AMWF relationships (where the man has a very traditional Asian culture and the woman has a very independent Western mentality) could be difficult to work.

The traditional Asian man, will look for a woman who can fulfill a more typical housewife role. This is usually not what a Western woman is looking for or is used to.

Family

Family is important in every relationship, but what you consider family can be different in Western and Asian cultures – as well as who you support if they need you.

Toward the West, cultures are more individualistic and the definition of family is smaller. Who is your family? Are they your immediate family members?

Your parents and your siblings before marriage and children? Or does it include your grandparents, aunties, and cousins also? In Western countries, it’s usually the first. In Asian countries, it’s rather the later.

Who will be the most important person in your life after you get married? Is it your significant other or possibly your mum?

In some Asian countries, for Asian men it will be their mum. In Western countries it is usually your significant other.

Living Arrangements

In Western cultures, children move out at a rather early age. 18 is not unusual. However, going toward East, the more this age gets delayed.

Even in Eastern Europe, it is not uncommon for children to live with their parents well into their 30s.

In many Western countries, the couple usually moves together. More often than not, sometimes even years before marriage.

However, in Asian countries, it is quite common (and even expected) for the bride to move in with the husband’s family – and look after not only her husband, but often 3 generations. 

A Western woman who is used to splitting the housework 50-50 with her husband, not only doing 100% of the housework but also looking after several generations… could be a stretch. 

Finances:

The AMWF relationship could have many financial challenges also. A traditional Asian man is expected to be the breadwinner and supporting his family financially. The Western woman will take the pressure off of him by contributing just as much. The problem however comes when the Western woman has a higher income. In many traditional countries, it is a man’s pride that he is supporting his family financially and the wife doesn’t have to work. If the Western woman works and even earns more than her Asian partner, this can really challenge his pride.

This can be a problem in any Western relationship but could multiply in an interracial one, where the culture strongly expects men to be the provider.

Even if this doesn’t bother the Western woman, Asian men could get a lot of pressure from their extended family.

Conclusion – AMWF Interracial Dating

Contrary to WMAF relationships, where the couple often has many things in favor of their relationship internally, but a lot of external pressure externally from society (discrimination), AMWF couples have the opposite. They have a lot fewer things in their favor, but once it works, they don’t get judged externally by society (or very rarely). 

Do you have any other suggestions we forgot to mention above? Leave your comments below and we will include them in this post!

Summary – AMWF pitfalls:

1.) Discrimination

2.) Cultural differences

3.) Gender roles in the relationship

4.) Family

5.) Where will you live

6.) Conversation topics

Next Step:

Read Next: The Best 12 Interracial Dating Tips

How to Date a Foreigner