Casual Dating Realities: Understand Foreign Expectations (in 2025)

Ever gone on a date expecting something light and low-key, only to discover the other person is already envisioning a long-term future together?

When you’re dating across cultures, casual dating often comes with unspoken expectations. Different societies interpret gestures, timing, and intentions in surprisingly different ways, so what seems like “just fun” to you might feel like a serious step forward to them.

Navigating these differences isn’t just about sidestepping misunderstandings. It’s about setting a strong foundation built on mutual respect and clarity.

How to Date a Foreigner is the #1 resource and community helping expats, digital nomads, and students overseas confidently navigate international relationships.

Let’s break down the norms around casual dating, and see how cultural awareness can help you build healthier, more intentional connections from the start.

What does “casual dating” even mean in different cultures?

In Canada, or the UK, it’s common to date multiple people at once before things get serious. Dating apps are part of daily life, and people often go into dates with low pressure and expectations. But in Japan or India, dating might not even happen until someone is seriously interested in a relationship. Even something as simple as agreeing to coffee could imply deeper intentions.

This isn’t about one way being better. It’s about knowing where your partner’s coming from. A short conversation early on could make everything easier.

Why some cultures avoid casual dating altogether?

In places like Italy, Turkey, or parts of the Middle East, dating is often tied closely to long-term intentions. That doesn’t mean everyone is ready to get married after two dinners. But there’s often a stronger cultural link between dating and commitment. A romantic gesture, like holding hands or kissing, can carry more weight, signaling emotional investment rather than casual interest.

For example, an American woman told us, while she was dating in Istanbul, she kissed a Turkish man on their third date. The next day, he introduced her to his mother. She panicked, thinking it was way too soon. For him, it made sense. Kissing showed genuine interest, and genuine interest meant family was part of the picture.

In many traditional cultures, family isn’t a future topic, it’s a present part of dating. Early introductions don’t necessarily mean rushing into something serious. They can be a way of integrating romantic life with personal values. If you’re coming from a more casual culture, it can feel like things are escalating quickly. But for many people, involving family early isn’t about pressure. It’s about transparency and trust. Learning to read those signals can save you from misjudging good intentions.

How misreading “signals” can backfire hard

Body language, eye contact, even silence: these can mean wildly different things in different dating cultures.

In Argentina, people might stand close, make strong eye contact, and use affectionate gestures quickly. In Sweden, someone might seem cool or distant, but still be interested. And flirting? It’s often subtle, especially in places where emotional expression is more restrained.

On his first date in Seoul, Daniel, who had recently moved from Germany, noticed that his date kept a bit of distance, avoided prolonged eye contact, and spoke softly. He assumed she was shy or maybe not that into him. But she later admitted she thought he seemed emotionally unavailable, too relaxed, too quick with direct questions, and not warm enough. They were both interested, but neither felt understood. It wasn’t a lack of chemistry, it was two people interpreting the same moments through completely different cultural lenses.

This kind of misunderstanding is common. When someone reacts in a way you didn’t expect, don’t assume, just ask.

“Was that too much?” or “I wasn’t sure how that landed for you” can be a respectful reset. Small, thoughtful questions go a long way in creating clarity and building trust.

What happens when you treat something casual like it’s serious, or vice versa?

Here’s where it gets tricky. Let’s say you’re casually dating someone from a culture where exclusivity is assumed quickly, like in Colombia or France. You mention you’re also meeting other people, and suddenly the vibe shifts.

Or the reverse: you’re dating someone from Australia, where people might keep things fluid for weeks, even months. You assume they’re serious, but they don’t see it that way yet.

Different people often carry unspoken expectations into dating, shaped by how relationships typically unfold in their own culture. Therefore, when it comes to international dating, it’s best to clarify expectations early.

However, instead of asking “what are we?” (which can sound pressuring), say “Just so you know, I’m looking for something casual right now. Is that what you’re looking for too?” It only takes five seconds, but it can prevent weeks of misunderstanding.

Handling the “what are we?” question in an intercultural relationship

Asking “are we exclusive?” can be nerve-wracking, but skipping it can lead to far more confusion and hurt feelings down the line. In intercultural relationships, the timing of this conversation isn’t just personal. It’s often cultural. In the U.S., people might bring it up after several weeks of dating. While in Korea, it’s not uncommon for couples to define the relationship early, sometimes after the second or third date.

Phuong, a Vietnamese woman living in Melbourne, had been seeing Liam, an Australian software designer, for about a month. By the fourth date, she expected some clarity. In Vietnam, romantic intentions are typically discussed early to avoid confusion. When Liam hadn’t brought anything up, Phuong quietly concluded he wasn’t serious. Meanwhile, Liam believed he was giving her respectful space, not rushing things or making assumptions. He didn’t realise she was starting to emotionally distance herself because she felt he was holding back. When the conversation finally happened, both were relieved, but also surprised by how differently they’d interpreted the same silence.

This is where intentional communication matters. The goal isn’t to define the relationship on someone else’s schedule, it’s to co-create a pace that works for both of you. If you’re feeling unsure, you don’t need to wait for your partner to bring it up. You can gently initiate the conversation in a way that opens dialogue instead of applying pressure. Try framing it as curiosity:

• “In your country, when do people usually talk about where things are going? Or do you talk about it at all?”

• “I know this can be different in every culture. How do people usually define relationships where you’re from?”

You’re not demanding answers. You’re creating space for mutual understanding. That clarity can make the relationship feel more secure, especially when you’re navigating unspoken assumptions across cultures.

Can casual turn serious, and how do you talk about it?

Absolutely. Many intercultural relationships begin casually, only to develop into something more meaningful over time. But without clear communication, their expectations might be misaligned.

One person might start prioritizing the relationship, spending more time together and stepping back from other connections, believing the dynamic has naturally become exclusive. The other might still view it as open, assuming that exclusivity requires an explicit conversation.

Unless both people take a moment to check in, misunderstandings grow quietly. If you notice more emotional closeness or consistent time spent together, that’s a good time to ask what’s changed and what each of you want moving forward. Casual can turn serious. But clarity helps both people stay connected as the relationship evolves.

FAQs

What if I don’t know how serious my date wants to be?

Ask them. You won’t scare someone off if you stay warm and curious: “Hey, I like spending time with you. What are you looking for right now?” shows respect, not pressure.

Can casual dating be respectful?

Absolutely. Casual doesn’t mean careless, as long as you are open, transparent, and kind. Being honest about your intentions and checking in regularly builds trust.

How can I tell if someone expects more than I do?

Pay attention to both words and actions. If someone introduces you to their family quickly, talks about the future early, or assumes exclusivity without a conversation, those may be signs they’re taking things more seriously.

Conclusion

Casual dating across cultures can be exciting, but also full of misunderstandings if you rely on assumptions. The more you understand how expectations vary, the easier it is to navigate relationships with clarity and respect.

If you’re ready to avoid the most common mistakes and build real connection, check out our book, How to Date a Foreigner. It’s filled with real-life stories and practical tools to help you date with confidence. You can also join our online course for deeper guidance or grab a free sample and take the first step toward better cross-cultural dating!