International Dating: A-Z Guide and Resources
International dating can come with both exciting and frustrating moments – often without being able to explain or figure out why. We just know it is different.
Maybe you complained your whole life how dating was so frustrating back at home. But now… looking back, it was so easy. How could crossing the borders (or just living in a multicultural city) make your dating life so damn difficult?
If you find it hard to find advice that speaks to your unique circumstances, at How to Date a Foreigner, we are here to help you!
Maybe you are looking for answers to some of these (and you might have given up searching for them already):
- What is the dating culture like in a given country?
- What is his/her culture like?
- Which cultures am I more compatible with and why?
- How can we bridge the cultural gap to build a lasting relationship?
- What questions should I ask, I normally wouldn’t think to ask?
Background
I started How to Date a Foreigner to help people with international and interracial relationships and to help them save several years of misunderstandings.
Five years ago, it started as a hobby and passion: researching cultural differences in dating. Over the years it turned into something bigger I never imagined.
Combined with cross-cultural psychology, it gave me a very amazing understanding of how cultures are so different and how they affect personal relationships. Often from very opposite angles (which could be complimentary or outright damaging).
In this article I collected a wide variety of topics related to international dating, to help you start. If you are less interested in the cultural aspect, we have another article covering specifically interracial dating.
If you are looking for a lot more thorough explanation, and to really understand dating cultures, you might want to check out our book. It goes into a LOT more detail.
General Introduction
International dating glossary
Find all the definitions related to intercultural and international dating as well as culture and cultural identity in our international dating glossary.
Globalization pros and cons
When it comes to dating, globalization has its pros and cons on our love life too. Some find dating interculturally exciting while others outright frustrating. While many (who live outside of their country of origin) often don’t have a choice. Whether it’s your choice or not, we hope our ‘The Secrets of Intercultural Dating‘ course will help eliminate many of the cons and help you understand each other better.
Cultural Identity
The answer to ‘What’s your cultural identity?’ might be straight forward for you, but for many it isn’t. The number of Third Culture Kids who have multiple cultural backgrounds are constantly growing. Before you know who you are culturally more compatible with, it is important to know your own cultural identity. Our culture test will greatly help you in this.
What is the difference between interracial, intercultural, and international dating?
Couples can be purely in interracial, intercultural, or international relationships or in a mixture of two or all three. Interracial relationship means dating someone from a different race. While intercultural dating means someone from a different culture (but it isn’t necessarily international – through borders).
What is the difference between race, culture, and ethnicity?
“Race” is usually associated with biology and linked with physical characteristics such as skin color or hair texture. “Ethnicity” is linked with cultural expression and identification. The term ethnicities is more broadly defined as large groups of people classed according to common racial, national, tribal, religious, linguistic, or cultural origin or background. (National Geographic)
What is culture and the culture iceberg?
Culture is an umbrella term that encompasses the social behavior and norms found in human societies, as well as the knowledge, beliefs, arts, laws, customs, capabilities, and habits of the individuals in these groups.
The cultural iceberg shows the cultural differences that are easy to see (above water) and those that are difficult to detect (below water). Dating cultures are very difficult to see.
International Dating
Dating Cultures
Knowing someone else’s dating culture is like speaking their language. It will make your connection a lot less frustrating. Therefore, we asked both locals as well as foreigners who dated them, to help explain dating in their countries:
International dating tips
In this article, Oneika gives her ‘5 tips for dating abroad‘.
Best international dating sites and apps
There are plenty of international dating sites and you can find quite a few of them here. As long as you have the same cultural background they are great. Otherwise, follow our blog to understand the potential cultural differences.
Best International Matchmaker
If you are looking for an international matchmaker with cultural expertise, we hope at How to Date a Foreigner we will be your #1 choice. If you need someone with a different expertise or just an insider’s help on how to find a good one, read our article on ‘3-steps to finding the best matchmaking services‘
Multicultural romance books
If you are looking to read a good book on intercultural romance, GoodReads has a few categories dedicated to it! You will find whatever your heart wishes. They have over 1000 multicultural romance books and a few in the cross-cultural romance as well as in intercultural relationships. Plenty to choose from.
Cross-Cultural Romance Movies
These cross-cultural romance movies on IMDb are a great selection to choose from for those cozy nights in.
Intercultural Relationships
Intercultural relationship advice
We collected the best 13 intercultural relationship advice we could think of. It’s a good collection even if you are not new to intercultural dating. If you think we have missed any, let us know. We will be glad to extend it.
Other than these, we also highly recommend you to learn about cultural differences. It will help to prepare you in advance rather than being surprised years down the line (eg. that you have to pay a bride price to marry your fiance).
Other Cultural Differences and Misunderstandings
Cultural Misunderstanding Examples
Many of the difficulties when it comes to intercultural dating comes down to cultural misunderstandings (including differences in how we play hard to get). Most of us don’t realize that our understanding of the words are shaped by our culture. I first experienced this several years ago when I started this journey researching dating cultures: to find out that my understanding of ‘dating’ is different from that of my Vietnamese friend’s.
I haven’t consciously realized this until after several more cultural misunderstandings. So it is very important to be aware of these.
We hope you enjoyed this article.
Is there anything we haven’t included and you would like to know? Let us know in the comments below!