There are a lot of couples in intercultural relationships looking for the best intercultural relationship advice out there. However, we understand that this might not be the easiest information to find on the internet. Intercultural relationships mean relationships between two people from the same race, but having different cultural experiences. For instance, if you are Vietnamese, dating a Vietnamese man or woman who was raised in the United States, then you are in an intercultural relationship because your partner has a different culture than you. So, despite being of the same race, you both have very different cultural experiences, whether you reside in the same country or not, and this disparity can affect your relationship in several ways.
We particularly love intercultural relationships because it’s always a joy to see the merging of different cultural experiences into one. This is why we took the time to carry out in-depth research to give you the 12 best intercultural relationship advice to make your journey easier. We promise that these tips are realistic, practical, and extremely easy to imbibe.
Navigating an intercultural relationship is not easy as there are so many aspects and factors affecting your relationship that need to be constantly assessed and maneuvered. This is why you need as many intercultural relationship advice as you can get. So, let’s get started, shall we?
1. Language Can be a Barrier
Communication is a very vital part of any relationship, even more so in intercultural relationships. If your partner was born and raised in a different country, you should know that the language difference might cause a lot of miscommunications between both of you. Even in situations where both parties speak and understand English or the local language, there could be cases where slangs are misunderstood, and things are taken the wrong way. If this is the case, you have to be patient with each other and dedicate time to explain certain lingo that might have been misconstrued in the past. This will make future conversations easier and lighter and leaves no room for misinterpretation on both ends.
Each country has its own set of holidays and celebrations that the inhabitants of the said country usually partake in. Being in an intercultural relationship means that your partner probably has different holidays that they love, and you should make an effort to learn about them. Being excited about the things they love, whether you have experienced them or not, is a great way to strengthen your bond amidst the cultural differences. So, whether its St Patrick’s day or Tet Holiday, get excited and enjoy it with your partner.
3. Traditions and Expectations
Being in an intercultural relationship means that there are various traditions and habits that your partner and his/her family abide by, and you would have to respect this. This tip is quite dicey, because in certain cases, not being knowledgeable of certain traditional practices might come off as disrespectful to your partner, and you don’t want that. You should also be sensitive to the fact that your traditions aren’t universal, and it will be a learning experience for your partner. So, take the time to discuss these traditions and habits with your partner before when they meet your family so they are prepared. Also, you should understand that your partner has their own cultures that they respect and love. So, you shouldn’t try to impose yours on them or make it law. Instead, each culture should be appreciated for what it is and upheld to the fullest.
4. Enjoy the Food and Music Differences
Not everyone loves maple syrup and peanut butter; so, you should be willing to expand your food choice options. If you love food, you will love this tip because you will have the opportunity to try a fusion of both meals and experience a burst of flavor in your mouth, especially if your partner is Asian or African. This also applies to music. Intercultural relationships are so fun because you get to introduce your partner to beautiful, local music that you love and see their eyes light up as they listen to your favorite artists. It is such a rewarding learning experience for both of you, and you should bask in these amazing moments for as long as you can.
5. Different personalities/Expectations.
Some people are straight up strict with their income while some love the mantra “live, enjoy, and die another day.” In as much as you may not think it all wise to be extravagant, take care to separate personalities from the person. Don’t be in a hurry to impose your lifestyle on your partner as the result is always a resistance. Rather, think about how you can enjoy the things your partner loves some more and also introduce her/him to more secure ways of living where savings and frugality are important. Your partner will appreciate your eagerness to introduce him/her to your cultural ideology on certain issues.
Stereotypes, as you already know, are good at misleading, and the last thing you want is setting your partner on the edge with an unfounded impression. Some things you have heard about some cultures may be an incomplete truth, so, what works is learning to talk about everything with your partner. Resist the urge to form an opinion based on what you heard overtime about the culture where he/she resides. You must learn to have confidence and understand who your partner is; that way, you can immediately dismiss any wandering false thoughts. Your cultural differences are what make you unique and they should be celebrated.
7. Respect Their Religion, If any
You can’t expect everyone to be Christians, Buddhists, or Muslims, and they have the right to live their lives the way they like. You may come off close-minded for suggesting that your partner’s religious beliefs, if any, are bizarre, and this can cause tension between you both. Be sensitive to each other’s beliefs, try not to create events or parties on the days your partner is likely to attend his/her religious activities as this is another way of expressing mutuality and love. Also, try not to stress on the seemingly negative part of each other’s religion stories, these things do instigate strife and may rob wrongly on your partner’s ego, and the effects are not usually pleasant.
If you sincerely wish to understand each other better and not invade your partner’s cultural space rudely, learn to tell him/her the correct information about your culture. Tell your partner how you spent your last Christmas or how your Hajj went, take them through the fun and exhilarating experience you had, give them the liberty of learning something new while getting mesmerized. Do you know what just happened? You have succeeded in telling them what they need to know about your religion or culture that is different from stereotypes, and you managed to do it without sounding condescending at all.
9. Where is home?
Your home is vital in an intercultural relationship, and if you care about peace, then you must be intentional in building a home where you can enjoy the company of each other without interference from both families. Because your different families are important, and you wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt even when it seems like their opinions and norms don’t align with yours, you might consider staying in a different country. Yes, living in a neutral country will not only help you make new friends and see the bigger world but will make sure neither you nor your partner feels like a stranger in his/her home.
10. Make culturally informed decisions before having kids.
Not everyone fancies the idea of leaving their children with their granny all summer; some people love to have their little angels by their side all year round. If your partner is Asian or an African, you both will escape a possible future conflict when you spend the early days of your relationship talking about how and what you think it’s best for children. Some mothers love the thought of homeschooling their children while some are career-struck. While not knowing what your partner’s preference for education will be, the best bet is to talk about it. You both need to agree on the academic needs of your children, tell him/her how your college days were fun and inspiring. This is a good way of instilling the desire for formal education without sounding insisting and judgmental of your partner’s homeschooling dreams.
11. Seek to create new traditions.
Staying in a neutral country comes with lots of benefits for intercultural relationships. You don’t only get to make new friends but, you also enjoy the excitement of learning a new lifestyle, trying new cuisines, and without an effort, you will find yourselves growing to love your host country’s food and culture. So, if you and your partner find yourselves caught up in India, and you observe he/she has fallen in love with their cuisines, then, it is time to incorporate tofu, paratha, and samosas into your regular menu.
Another thing you can do is to make yoga a part of your morning routine for wellness, especially if you discover you both are at peace with its benefits to your wellness and peace of mind. When you and your partner consciously form a tradition that you both have grown fond of, it keeps you both happy, and no one ever feels distant from each other.
12. Prioritize your compromises.
No matter how much we try to evade it, compromises will always have its way in relationships, but the only way not to feel unhappy about the choices you have to bury is to prioritize them. Some things are important to you, some beliefs that have informed your lifestyle and attitude. If leaving them behind will not cost you your peace of mind, then you can let them go. But if you cannot, find a way of making peace with your partner’s preference and accommodating what you can’t change. Like they always say, “what you cannot change, let it be and live.” You know your partner loves the drapes of the hijab on her and she has been schooled all her life on shielding some part of her face when going out, don’t try to coax her to dress otherwise. Similarly, you can have a house party if you find your partner’s dislike for loud music and winery, conservative. The mantra is “do what keeps you both happy and at peace” and don’t forget to talk about these differences early in your relationship.
13. Keep third parties, strictly third.
One way of ruining your budding relationship is allowing third parties and other people’s opinions to count in your relationship. Agreeably, no one knows it all but, letting other people’s ideas and impressions about your relationship define it is destructive to you and your partner. You shouldn’t go home disturbed about what another person said when you and your partner already have an understanding of how you live your lives. You both are responsible for each other, and you must guard your peace possessively. No matter how well your friends and loved one mean, don’t forget you must not be caught giving the impression that your relationship is a huge burden, and that you are sacrificing too much to make it work.
Don’t forget that prioritizing your compromises will ensure you stay in peace with your relationship, and your obligation is to each other. As such, guard each other’s space and remain happy.
Intercultural relationships don’t have to be so difficult anymore. All you need is a grasp of this intercultural relationship advice and give each day a chance to survive. So, if your relationship was on the brink of collapse due to perceived irreconcilable cultural difference, take a break, digest these tips and give it another shot.
If you have any tips, we missed from our list of intercultural relationship advice, please do let us know below. We would love to include it!
Summary of the best 13 intercultural relationship advice
1.) Language can be a barrier
2.) Celebrations / Holidays should be shared
3.) Traditions and expectations
4.) Enjoy the food and music differences
5.) Different personalities / expectations
6.) Navigating stereotypes
7.) Respect the religion, if any
8.) Share memories
9.) Where is home?
10.) Make culturally informed decisions, before having kids
11.) Seek to create new traditions
12.) Prioritize your compromises
13.) Keep third parties, strictly third
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