Now that you understand the basic cultural differences when it comes to international dating (including time oriented, people oriented and mixed time & people oriented dating cultures), let’s look at picking the perfect first date ideas.
First date ideas for time oriented dating cultures
People from time oriented cultures (American Dating Style) are often busy and have their calendar packed. They often prefer a quick 2-hour drink for their perfect first date.
They often hide their emotions and like to start dates with a drink to lighten up the mood.
Therefore people in these dating cultures, often meet in the evening for a quick drink in a bar or a restaurant. A longer date especially with activities is usually too much for them early on. Leave connecting deeper for later dates.
First date ideas: nice, high-end bars, restaurants or speakeasy. Luxury is rather important here.
Who pays: people often split the bill
Why is it confusing: For those who are used to European Style Dating, American Style can feel very confusing. In time oriented cultures (American), people go to nice bars and restaurants on a first date.
However, in European Style Dating culture, taking someone to a nice bar or restaurant usually happens later in the relationship. Men usually don’t spend money on women they don’t want to be serious with. This can give a false impression to women in other cultures.
First date ideas for people oriented dating cultures
As we discovered earlier, people oriented dating cultures are all about the people. Like time doesn’t exist. Dates should be fun and last as long as they both enjoy it.
In these dating cultures men often go all in to come up with the perfect and most romantic date. They often want to make it the best you have ever had in your life and beat all your previous experiences. Making it a perfect first date that you will remember for the rest of your life.
These dates often include activities to build mutual memories. Dates like: private boat ride on the river, going to a Christmas fair, playing laser quest or even going on a prison tour. Just make it as different, unusual and fun as it possibly can be.
Usually these dates start in the day time (maybe early afternoon) and might or might not end with drinks at night (but usually not start with drinks).
Those who are used to American Dating Style, sometimes don’t like the European Style Dates. An American girl once told me for her too romantic European style dates even feel fake. Others love them.
This is the same for those who are used to romantic dates. For those used to European Style, American dates can feel a bit like being on a conveyor belt.
Date style: romantic and fun – often a picnic in the park is better than a luxury restaurant. They will appreciate it more.
First date ideas: any activity you both enjoy, but also rather private for the two of you. Eg. outdoor cinema, ice skating, planetarium, board game cafe
Who pays: often men pay on the first date (but it is nice for women to offer to split it)
Dates for mixed time & people oriented dating cultures
As you are now aware mixed time & people oriented dating cultures have qualities from both the time oriented as well as from people oriented cultures. This reflects in their dating style.
They are usually very busy, so they often have shorter dates just like the time oriented cultures. On the other hand, as they are so people oriented, they prefer dates that build mutual memories. For example going to the movies. It’s fairly short, but you can have a great time.
Date Style: more on the fun side to have a great time.
Who pays: typically men pay (it is still nice from women to offer)
Now that you know what to plan, let’s look at what to wear on a first date as our last step. What works in some cultures can ruin your date in others.
Have you ever had a culture shock on first dates? Let us know below why it didn’t feel right. We will enjoy reading it!