There are a lot of interracial dating tips online targeted at helping interracial couples navigate their unique relationships a lot better. Dating on its own is not always easy, and it becomes even more complicated when your partner is of a different race than you.
Interracial dating can be a rollercoaster of amazing experiences, culture merging, incredible food, and an all-round, satisfying learning experience, especially when done right Many unique factors come into play during interracial dating, some of which are directly woven into the very fabric of the relationship. These factors go a long way to determine whether or not the relationship will be a great one or a disaster waiting to happen.
There are a lot of articles online promising the best interracial dating tips, and this is amazing. However, you should know that this is not your everyday article with generic ideas as we are very specific about providing practical tips that actually work. So, we have curated an in-depth list of tips to help you navigate this dating scene and create a functional relationship that works for you and your significant other. Let us get straight to it!
First, Interracial Dating or Intercultural Dating?
A lot of people usually mistake interracial dating for intercultural dating. However, you should note that the two terms are not to be used interchangeably, as they do not mean the same thing. Interracial dating occurs when the couple is of entirely different races, while intercultural dating occurs when the couple are of the same race but live in different countries, hence, having the same culture. It is important to note that a couple can be both in an interracial and intercultural relationship. This means they are of different races, and living in different countries; hence, having different cultural experiences.
Now that these terms have been clarified, we can now dive into the 12 amazing interracial dating tips we have carefully prepared for you.
1. Racism is a Sensitive Topic, do not Take it Personally.
If you are in an interracial relationship, then you should know and accept the fact that the topic of racism will come up. So, you should know how to navigate the conversation in ways that is beneficial and comfortable for you or your partner. If you or your partner have lived in a different country at any point in your lives then either one of you must have experienced racism in whatever form it came in. If your partner has a racist experience, you should take time to understand what he/she might be feeling.
We understand that this can be a dicey situation, especially if you have never experienced racism; so, you should always try to proceed with love instead of logic. If you were the target of racial harassment, then you should also understand that your partner might not fully grasp the depth of what you are feeling. In this case, it helps to calmly explain the racial undertones and history behind the situation so they can appreciate your pain and possibly be more prepared to help you through it in the future.
2. Know Where Your Family and Friends Stand
Unfortunately, not all families are comfortable with their kids dating out if their race. Your family and friends are your support groups, and, naturally, you would want to seek their approval with your relationships. We understand this, as it is a lot easier and peaceful to be with someone your family approves of. However, in cases where you are not sure of what their stand on interracial dating might be, you should try to find out first before diving into one or introducing your partner to your family. We have handled cases where families have been strongly against interracial dating, and the couple fought it. It was a hard and draining experience, and even though some of these couples won in the end, the journey was quite heartbreaking. If this is your situation, you need to be very sure of what you want to do because it is not always easy to go against your support group, especially if they’re Asian or try to convince them to change their ideologies overnight.
3. Interracial relationships Are Often Unequal.
When in an interracial relationship, you might notice that you and your partner are unequal when it comes to certain aspects of your relationship. This could be financially, socially, or otherwise. Instead of harping on the disadvantages of these inequalities, you should focus and magnify the advantages and use them to strengthen your bond. Relationships, whether interracial or not, are never fully equal. These differences are often what bring partners closer together and keeps the relationship exciting.
4. Handling the Daily Dose of Discrimination
If you live in a country where your partner is a minority, you will most likely experience discrimination daily. This can come in the malicious looks you pretend you don’t see when you both are out on a date, the weird disapproving look from the waiter who purposely mispronounces your partner’s name, and many more. For example, some Ivy League universities like Harvard in the United States came under hot water for requesting higher entrance scores from their Asian applicants.
For this reason, many Asian students refuse to fill in their race during these applications. This is just to highlight how fleeting racism can appear in different aspects of your partner’s life, and it can be very distressing. Please take the time to approach your partner with love on these issues, as this will increase his/her trust in you and ultimately bring you closer to each other.
5. Handling Stereotypes
Bear in mind that stereotypes can present itself in different areas of life, and they can be either good or bad. It could describe your body, physical appearance negatively, or hype your math and logical skills if You are Asian. We don’t like to feed into stereotypes or magnify them, but they are hard to avoid in foreign countries as they have become the common ideology amongst foreigners. If there are stereotypes your partner seems uncomfortable with, then you should be conscious enough to never mention them, whether in passing or as a joke. Your partner should be completely comfortable with you, and you should create a safe space for him/her rid of stereotypes or prejudice.
6. Have Each Other’s Back
In a foreign land, you are your partner’s support system and vice versa. You both must have each other’s back to the fullest and be 100% on their side. The last thing your partner needs from you is insensitive jokes in situations where they are the most vulnerable, even if you have no malicious intent. Remember that your partner’s race and culture are huge parts of what makes them who they are. Try to learn about your differences, see what makes you both unique, fall in love with these disparities over and over again, and just enjoy your relationship.
7. There Will be Uncomfortable Conversations
If you have never experienced racism in your location, then there is a chance that conversations about racism might feel uncomfortable for you. This is why we always advise that these topics are approached with love instead of logic. For example, if your partner experienced discrimination, asking him/her what caused it and other irrelevant questions might make them more aggravated about the situation. It is better if you listen to them vent about how the situation made them feel and validate their feelings first before giving your opinions. This makes them feel heard, calm, and understood, and they will be able to have an honest conversation with you afterward.
8. Educate Yourself and Your Partner
The best way to understand what your partner may be going through is to educate yourself on racism in your location and try to have conversations with people who have been in your situation in the past. You can also read books, ask questions, and learn about the unique and beautiful parts of your partner’s culture. Your partner will love the fact that you are interested in learning about his/her culture, and this will surely bring you both closer to each other.
9. Resolve Differences with Love
In every relationship, partners always have a difference in opinions that will have to be resolved. Interracial relationships tend to have more of these because you both come from totally different backgrounds and cultures. Understand that in your relationship, you and your partner are a team. This means you are both on the same side; therefore, arguments and conversations should not be had with the intent of “winning”. Instead, they should be had with the goal of learning from each other and creating a more loving environment where you both can thrive as individuals and as a unit. Do not blame each other for the privileges or power dynamics you tend to enjoy sometimes but rather understand that although it is not fair, it is what it is, and you can only control how you respond to it.
10. You are more than Your Race.
We understand that it might be hard to see yourself as being more than just your race, especially when that defines how people tend to treat you in foreign countries. However, you should know that although it is a big part of who you are, it does not define you in entirety. It is also not uncommon for you to feel out of place or disconnected in foreign countries even when dealing with people of the same race as you, especially if you are of mixed race. You can talk to your partner about how this makes you feel and explain how it affects you in your relationship. Being honest and vulnerable is one of the best ways to handle interracial relationships and keep both your emotions in check.
11. Shut Out the Outside Noise
Since you are in an interracial relationship, you should note that a lot of people will have unsolicited opinions about your relationship and will keep offering advice you never asked for. If you keep listening to every dog that barks around you, you will lose focus on your partner, and this will affect your relationship negatively. You also don’t need to discuss the details of your relationship with everyone who gives you a listening ear. If there are issues you cannot discuss with your partner just yet, you can talk to someone close to you that you fully trust. Your partner will feel more secure and loved by you when you don’t let the opinions of random people about their race affect how you see or treat them.
12. Improve Your Photography Skills
If you are in an interracial relationship where you both have different skin tones, you must learn how to take couple shots under lighting that is perfect for both complexions. Highlighting the beauty of your different skin tones is a way to show the world how beautiful interracial relationships can be. If your skills are terrible like mine, you can sign up for a photography class with your partner and learn to master your angles better. In this age of social media, photography is an important skill to have under your belt, or you don’t want the partner of the year award?!
Conclusively, although interracial relationships seem like a lot of work, with commitment, love, and trust, you can make it work and have the best time with your partner. The interracial dating tips in this article will surely set you off to a great start and there are a lot of books with great interracial dating tips that will guide you as well. Remember, what is worth doing is worth doing well, so when it comes to your relationship, leave no stone unturned, and always lead with love.
Got any interracial dating tips you want to share with us? We would love to hear from you!